Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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