just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
