She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
