Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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