Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
