biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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