I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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