Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
