P.S. I can't hear my feet
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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