alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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