He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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