I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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