It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Four minutes until I can fart!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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