they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
then he tried to convert me to islam
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
