I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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