And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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