4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
