I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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