In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
