did you get engaged???
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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