she smelled like a LAN party
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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