sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
its liver damage thursday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
