Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
COCAINE IS GR8
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
