i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
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