Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
