If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
