I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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