The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
