she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
