you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
