i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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