you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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