she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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