I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
