I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
