how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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