Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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