I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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