why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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