hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
