is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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