I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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