? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
