the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
