Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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