My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
