the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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