so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i came on her dog
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
