That's intense
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
