His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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