Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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