If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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