singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize