S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
