She is in my trunk
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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