Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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