Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i now understand why vodka
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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