You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
