i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
