Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I met the friendliest cop last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
