is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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