I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
