Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
