I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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