dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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