If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
