I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just want to make out with him forever
Randomize
