Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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