please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
