return my video game
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
