I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
