idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
