When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
