scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
