There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
