its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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