how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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